Whoo... boy!

Allow me to tell you about my hour and a half from hell this morning. I hope you laugh as much as I have started to now... it was not funny (well, not very) while it was actually happening!

A little background... We got a TiVo upgrade as Christmas presents to each other (Jeromy and I) this year, but in order to make it work like it's supposed to you have to have a cable card installed. We called and arranged for the cable company to come out here today. They said they would call and give me a heads up that they were in the area on they day they were supposed to come. We also use a cleaning service that usually comes every other Thursday, but being as that is Thanksgiving they bumped us up to Tuesday this week. They told me they would be here between 11 and 12. We also had a semi rough night last night... Gus woke Gracia up twice and Jack needed to eat around 2 in the morning but wouldn't stay awake for it so it took two hours for it to finish (instead of the ususal 30 minutes) between the two of us falling asleep. That brings us to this morning.

We were all up and going this morning around 7. That's 4 hours for me to get things decluttered for the cleaning people and for me to get a shower. I figure I'm in great shape. I'm in no real hurry, I get Gracia breakfast... I get me breakfast... I play a little with Jack. The biggest deal is the kitchen and I figure that that will take me an hour to get the dishwasher unloaded, reloaded, everything put away, and the three pots I have dirty from last night washed. Gracia and I get done with breakfast and now it's Jack's turn. I turn on some Sesame Street for Gracia and sit down to nurse Jack. Next thing I know, Elmo's world is on!! For those of you not in the know about Sesame Street, it's an hour long show and the last segment is called Elmo's World and that's the last 15 minutes of the show!!! Gack!! I've now lost an hour or, more accurately, two because it took us an hour of piddling around to finish breakfast. So now it's 9.

All right, I decide not to panic... I can still get things done, I'll just have to hurry. Jack is still looking sleepy so I decide I'll go and swaddle him, rock him and see if he'll go down for a real nap. That will make cleaning the kitchen go faster. We get all comfy in the rocker and he's okay for a minute and then starts to squirm. I feel him tense and then his bum vibrates rather loudly. Well, I'm not putting him down for an hour in a dirty diaper, so I go to change him. HE'S POOPED UP TO HIS NECK!!! There is no choice, he has to have a bath. We head into the bathroom and I get the water running which summons Gracia. She figures out Jack is going to have a bath and would like to "help." That essentially means standing around babbling and pretending to pour soap in her hands and then rub it on me as I lean over the tub. Fine... at least I know where she is. I get Jack out of his soiled clothes and into the tub and Gracia stands by us for a bit. Then she wanders off... then it get's quiet... TOO quiet. I look over my shoulder and she's investigating Jack's soiled clothes and, because she's gotten something wet and gooey on her finger, is deciding if she should taste it. There is much yelling of "NO!! YUCKY!!" on my part and we wash her hands. We finally get Jack (who is poo free) out of the tub, dried off and in a clean diaper.

Then the phone rings. It's the cable guy, Al, and he's been knocking on my door... am I home? I responded by telling him that I was sorry but there had been a diaper explosion and we were in the bathroom and I hadn't heard him. Meanwhile I'm thinking "Weren't you people supposed to call first??" I head to the door to let him in. I'm very surprised that he kept his reaction to the sight that greeted him to himself. A woman who hadn't showered, in a tank top with her nursing bra exposed more than she would care for, in her pajama pants, holding a baby in a diaper with a wound 2 year old starting to freak at the top of the stairs because there is a stranger in the house. I had to clear a path to the television because Gracia had spread her distruction around (meaning every book was off the bookshelf and littered on the floor along with a few toys and dolls). He comes in and looks at the set up and says that he has to do somethings to the cable box outside first and that he'll be back. Great.

It's 10 by this point. I still have to declutter. I get clothes on Jack and then put him down for a nap. Next, I go to the kitchen and unload the dishwasher and reload it. Then everything that's small and left on the counter goes in a paper bag and gets set out on the deck, along with the 3 pots from last night. I quickly round up as many books as I can and start putting them back on the bookshelf. Gracia helps until 90% of that is finished. Then she wants to read. So she starts pulling them back off the shelf! I never thought I'd tell my child to please stop reading and just watch this movie for a minute!!! I get all my decluttering done and it's 10:30. I figure that I can have a 5 minute shower. I head that direction, taking Gracia and her movie with me. I can hear Jack starting to stir so my sense of urgency is increased. I get the water running, and get all my clothes off when I hear "Ma'am?" CRAP!! I throw on a pair of pants, a shirt and a jacket and go see what's up. This looks like it's going to take more than just a minute. Jack also decides he's done with napping. I go get him, turn the shower off, and spend the next 20 minutes answering questions from the cable guy and reassuring Gracia that just because I've left the room doesn't mean I've left her!

The cable guy finally leaves and I take the fastest shower I've ever taken in my life (3 minutes... yep, 3) I'm drying off and praying that the cleaning ladies are going to be on the later side of their window of arrival time (that never happens). I was very lucky today. They didn't show up until noon. So I was able to have 15 minutes to nurse Jack without any hulabaloo going on in the house.

So that was my morning. I hope yours was better! I can hardly wait to see how many more days are going to be like this... Cannon Family Chaos... yup, that about sums it up!